Update on my friend

So its been three months since things started going badly for my friend in her marriage. He keeps coming and going. He 'loves' her but he has got about 5 women on the go. His lies to them are gangsta. He obviously has not told any of them about his kids. He is currently unemployed yet somehow these women believe him when he says he owns his own business and that he is 28 (homeboy is 33 and sleeping on his friends bedroom floor).

He asked my friend last week to get back with him and told her that the should consider counselling because he is ready to change. It was during a break in their discussion she saw his facebook messages to the girls.(He wasn't even sleek enough to chat these girls up somewhere else, he was doing it ON his estranged wife's computer). It was only after shit hit the fan she told me that he asked her for a loan not long after he told her he was ready to make their relationship work. Thank God she didn't give him the money but the scary thing is that she told me she genuinely considered it.

This was the kicker for me. I asked her WHY she still even spoke to the man. What exactly is it about this man that she can't seem to let go of because to be honest, there is absolutely NOTHING going on for him on paper. She told me that is was very simple. She couldn't understand why he didn't want her, after everything she had done for him. How can he just stop loving her? She only had to make it clear to him that he was still in love with her.

At that moment, I took a step back because homegirl sounded kind of bunny boilerish. You can't MAKE someone love you. The sad thing about life is that sometimes things just don't work out, you just have to dust yourself and keep moving on.

All hope isn't lost though, I think it has finally dawned on her that it is over. She has started taking a few evening classes to keep her busy, she is moving into a new place soon for a fresh start and she seems to have started picking up the pieces.

Last week she called me excitedly to inform me she met someone else. 'He seems like a really nice guy and is really funny' I told her to stop  imagining their wedding and what their kids will look like. Its just too soon. Besides, she needs to focus on sorting her head out because to be honest, if you don't love yourself, no one will love you.

xxPretty Lashesxx

Picture Source (google images)

I'm alive!, Seriously this time, Thank God!

*Dusts off cobwebs*

Hello People,

I been a bad BAD girl, I haven't forgotten I have a blog, I just been so busy at work, I literally come home  just to sleep.

Our system at work crashed a couple of weeks ago so yours truly was sent to our Sussex branch to work. I've been driving for 4 hours a day for the past 2 working weeks. I only live 15 mins away on the bus from our head office so needless to say the HELLISH commute has been an eye opener.

I have so much to share with you lovely people.

 First things first, yours truly got into an accident. Thank God I didn't have to pay on my insurance excess but more importantly, thank God I didn't kill another man's child.

The steering wheel on my  beloved mini' 'Pepito' (yes I know I have too much time on my hands to name my car) failed. The steering wheel literally locked in the middle of a HUUUGGGEEE roundabout.

I saw my life flash before my eyes (to be entirely honest,  I saw my insurance excess fly before my eyes). I really thought this was the end of it all. I was millimetres away from hitting the car in front of me. Thank God I didn't.

GreenFlag came to take me and my car to the place I bought it from. The guy told me it would cost £2000 to fix because the 'power steering pump of mini's are different to others'. I looked at him up at down and then looked at Mr Lashes (who by the way was looking at me like 'na you wan buy mini, it no be my problem'). I told the man that I am broke an accountant and the £2000 would be better spent on another car.

 I started kicking up a fuss because he must have sold me the car in that condition. I mentioned 'Trading Standards' and 'Consumer Rights' (not that I have a clue what either of them mean) so he offered me another car as a part exchange.

The new mini is a newer and much nicer model but its gold. Yes Gold (well Champagne coloured). Lets just say I took it before he withdrew his offer without looking at the colour properly.  Every time I walk past it, I have to do a double take, Its sooooo bright. The only positive things about the colour are that :

1. It would NEVER get stolen.
2. I can't lose it in a parking lot.

So yeah, Pepito is no more. the new car is called Pepito 2

Hope you are all doing well.

xxPretty Lashesxx

When Love isn't Enough

I know this girl. Let's call her Sunshine because that's what she is like; a great big dollop of goodness that puts you in a good mood.

I wouldn't exactly say we are friends but we talk and are very cordial. For a month or so, she hasn't been so full of said sunny disposition. She has been really down and didn't want to talk about it. I had an idea of what was wrong and when she eventually did, it turns out I was spot on.

She moved to the UK for a man. She left her family and everything she knew and loved to move to a new continent with a man she thought she would get married to and have kids with. This was about 9 years ago. Things were good for about 6 months then they started to go horribly bad. He became incredibly possessive. She couldn't go out. She couldn't have friends outside of his friends. He took full control of the meagre wages she earned., seeing as she couldn't work more than a certain amount of hours a day.If she so much as five minutes late home, he would question her.

Then the beating started. It was a slap here and there at first; when they got into a heated argument. It then became a regular occurence. She only needed to look at him the wrong way for him to punch her. She still had to send money home to her family; an amount he regulated.

She had no one to confide in, he basically owned her. The way she was able to get out of the hellish relationship was when he went back to his native Jamaica for a family emergency. She packed her things and RAN. She decided to stay in London because the didn't want to go back to her country without having achieved anything.

A few months later, she got a promotion and started doing a bit better for herself. She saved up enough money to go home for a holiday and met a guy there. So in need to be in love and to be loved she dove into the new relationship head first. This time the man moved here and 8 months after they met, they were married. She honestly thought the beginning of the rest of her life had started. Except it hadn't.

He couldn't get a job at first so she paid for everything, rent included. They lived in a small room, sharing a flat with students. This was ok though because that's what you do when you are married. You make sacrifices in the hope that the future gets better.Except it didn't.

 He decided that he would stop looking for a job and go to school full time to study basketball because he had it in him that he would be the next big thing even though he is 33 years old.  She took out loans to pay his school fees because he told her he would 'pay her back'. She would leave the flat at 7am to go to work and wouldn't get home till 9pm but would still have to cook and clean because all he did was watch basketball and play video games.

He left her 2 years ago because; in his words; 'Their life was boring and she always nagged'. She begged him to take her back and promised that she will try to work things out her end as long he promised to do the same.

They got back together and things were OK for a while. She says she tried to nag less. He still didn't look for a job. She still paid for everything. She tried to carry on the best way she knew how to. Then a month ago, he left her again because 'she wasn't trying enough for him'. He is with his lecturer now. He has moved in with her; even though she also knew that he was married and had met Sunshine a few times. Things aren't so straightforward this time though. She just found out she is pregnant.

He wants nothing to do with the baby. He already has 3 kids by 3 different women back in the States that he doesn't take care of.

I broke down in tears for her when she told me her story because I really felt for her.She said all she has ever done is to try to love; all she has ever wanted is to be loved. She has given everything she can to men only for them to treat her like a leper. She is in £30000 worth of debt because of this man. She doesn't know where to start from. She is 34, living in a room with a baby on the way.

I know she could have done things differently the second time round but to be honest, I can understand the need to be loved, especially after coming out of a very bad relationship. She jumped to the first man that treated her decently.

I didn't have anything to say to her except cry. What to do say when someone bares their soul in this way?

My question is that is love ever enough? When will men realise that taking women for granted is just plain evil? Why are people so cold hearted?

xxPretty Lashesxx

Whats In My Bag Tag

The lovely NaijaMum tagged me in this meme.

First of all, let me preface this by saying that I am an incredibly organised person, my bag just doesn't reflect this. My bag is a little bit of a 'lucky dip'. I have been known to have everything from nail varnish remover to a tape measure in my bag, ''just in case''. This is my bag on a tidy day...my apologies in advance for the poor quality pictures, I couldn't find my camera USB and Mr Lashes's Mac doesn't take memory cards so I had to use my phone...

 My bag is a LV Artsy, it was my 2010 Christmas present from Mr Lashes...I tend to carry this when I don't want to carry much, its one of my smaller bags. I know, SMALLER! my obsession with handbags and purses is quite disturbing but like most things I don't want to accept, I keep telling myself its nothing to worry about...I'm not usually keen on such obviously branded bags but I was really drawn to this one because of its shape and Mr Lashes indulged me.

FROM LEFT TO RIGHT


Sunglasses: When I wear my contacts, I almost always wear these, not as a fashion statement but because I hate the feeling of direct sunlight in my eyes.

Camera: I am one of those people that takes random pictures, you never know when a memory can be made, I always want to be able to capture it. My sister is always teasing me about my 'photographer' camera but whatever...:-)

iPhone: I love my iPhone. it is SERIOUSLY the best phone in the world, I don't care what anyone says. I have also got a Blackberry, which I predominantly use for work and blackberry messenger.

Purse: It is a Miu Miu purse, I can't remember the name but I got it about a year ago. It has everything in it, my bank cards, my license, my NUS card, my oystercard. My life would literally come to a complete standstill if I lost this. I went for this because of the colour, red is my favourite and I can easily find it in my bag because it stands out so much

Perfume: I'm a 3 perfume kinda girl. This is Stella McCartney's Stella. I also wear Chanel's Chance and Blvgari's Omnia. I always carry one of them in my bag, you never know when you need to smell fresh.

Koran: I'm a Muslim. I always carry this mini Koran with me because I believe it protects me. I can not read a word of what's in there but hey, its the thought that counts!!!

 Keys (out of shot): I've got a big bunch  of keys, my house keys, Mr Lashes' keys, Car keys and a whole load of other ones. No word of lie, it must weigh about half a kilo.

FROM LEFT TO RIGHT


Hair brush and two combs: There is NO excuse for looking like you just got into a fight with a lion. I carry these about, just in case.

Lip Balm and Hand Cream: I gats control that ashyness so this is always with me. I'm about the only person in the world that thinks Vaseline is evil. Its just fancy grease.

Mini Deodorant: Self Explanatory :-)

Umbrella and Hand Sanitiser (out of shot): Its always raining in London, the most horrible thing in the world is being caught out without one or worse still, having one that turns inside out every time the wind blows, I've found a good one and I watch it like a hawk.

I have come to the conclusion that people are NASTY. They sneeze and then hold on to railings  without wiping their hands, they don't wash their hands after using the toilet then shake hands..its just wrong and my mama didn't raise no fool so I'm not trying to catch some incurable disease. I go through this stuff like its water.

Nurofen and Glasses case: As I spend about 45 hours a week glued to a computer screen, I'm constantly getting headache's so I always carry painkillers with me. My glasses case houses my contact lens case for easy changing.

Mirror and Kleenex: I need a small mirror to check my lip gloss (see below). This is a really cute heart shaped one I got from Monsoon. I have found that I hardly ever use the Kleenex, I usually offer it to people, especially when they sneeze and feel the need to carry on like they haven't expelled thousands of germs.

Lip gloss: Don't judge. I have got 7 different kinds currently in my bag. I don't touch of my makeup during the day so I usually reapply this just so I don't look washed out.

Soft mints: I hate bad breath. I think its incredibly disrespectful to someone to impose your bad dental hygiene on them so I carry these around.

So! Does my bag show exactly how superficial I am???

I think I'm one of the last people to be tagged in this so I tag anyone who already hasn't been tagged.

xxPretty Lashesxx

A to Z of Me

Age: 23 years and 356 days (wink wink)
Bed Size: King
Chores you hate: Taking the bin out, that's Mr Lashes job.
Dogs:Helllllllll to the nawwwwwwwww!!!
Essential Start to your day: Prayer
Favourite Colour: Red
Gold or Silver: Silver, or white gold
Height: 5"4
Instruments I play: lol..you know how people have two left feet? I've got two left hands
Job Title: Accountant
Kids: Nope

Live: South  London
Mum's Name: Bola

Nickname: Mr Lashes calls me B..my family and friends call me Abisco Special

One wish:  That God continues to bless me
Pet Peeve: Untidiness
Quote from a Movie:  'Everyday above ground is a good day' SCARFACE

Right or Left handed: Right handed but I was born left handed

Siblings: Three CRAZY sisters
Time you wake up:  7am
Underwear: La Senza is the reason why birds sing :-0
Vegetables you dislike: Mushrooms.
What makes you run late: Lazy Mornings!
X-Rays you've had done: Jaw
Yummy food you make: My fried rice has been called legendary! 
Zoo Animals: Helllllllllll to the  Nawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

Guess Who Just Passed Her driving Test????

I finally did it! 6 months it took me from start to finish! I finally have a license to drive manuals AND automatics!

If you see a girl with a silver Mini playing R.Kelly at full blast with a disgruntled looking man wearing shades in the passenger seat, toot your horn because its Pretty Lashes and Mr Lashes!

Stuff That Probably Shouldn't Piss Me Off But Does

1. People who SAY 'thanking you'. WHY?? What's wrong with THANK YOU????
2. Ppl who write all thr convs in shrt frm. If you've got enough energy to write shrt frm, YOU CAN WRITE SHORT FORM!!! English Language is dying every minute.
3. Linked to number 2 is when people write 9ice instead if nice and 10q instead of thank you. SERIOUSLY???? and WHY do people write 'should of' instead of 'should have/should've'??
4. People who feel the need to spit in public or sneeze in enclosed places. No one wants to see mucus and gunk. You need to SWALLOW that mess.
5. At supermarket checkouts, the attendant rationing carrier bags like we are in a war. I understand that the planet needs to be saved and all that good stuff but DON'T give me two  bags to pack 50 items then get offended when I ask for more...The.Bag.Will.Break.Bitch
6. People who yawn without closing their mouths, No one needs to see all that nastiness.
7. Dogs that aren't on a leash. Hell ALL animals that aren't on a leash.
8. When people clap when a plane lands...I don't see anyone clapping when I finalise accounts.
9. Chelsea. With their smug richness and their multibillionaire owner.Bastards, the lot of them.
10. Attention Seeking Facebookers. We don't need to know EVERY aspect of your lives. You are in a relationship. Then you are not. Then you put a link of a random heartbreak song.Then you are back in a relationship. Then you write a post along the lines of 'I should have known all men are bastards...' The you have the nerve to reply all the people asking what's wrong by saying 'Its PERSONAL, check your inbox'. If you want your life to be a soap opera, the least you can do is let people watch it. Not Cool, not cool at all. 

What are all your pet peeves?

xxPretty Lashesxx

Baby Got Back

I'm not even going to start making excuses for why I haven't been around in a while, I've been a crappy blogger, simple as.

Am I forgiven? No? Not even if I bat these Pretty Lashes? No? Well be like that then!!


I went for a baby shower yesterday. It was my work colleague's baby shower, she's expecting a boy on the 3rd of June (the day after my birthday, wink wink)...

Me and some of the other girls at work decided to throw it for her as she had never heard of it before (she is British-Cypriot).

A Nigerian friend of mine was due to have a baby shower last summer but it was cancelled last minute because her pastor didn't agree with celebrating the birth of a baby before it arrives; which makes sense.

Before the westernised world influence came to us in Nigeria, baby showers were unknown. We did (and still do) celebrate the baby's birth with the naming ceremony/7 days. The west haven't got that so is it pointless to adopt a tradition when we have got a richer and by far superior one ourselves?

At the same time, should we take it so seriously? Its just a fun day for the mom to be to receive advice, gifts and to have people to care about her and the baby round for food and drinks. Shouldn't we celebrate the fact that something amazingly beautiful and special is happening?

All in all, it was a fun day; we played games and I won one. It was a 'name as many songs as possible that have baby in the title'. I came up with seven. What I didin't know at the time was I had to sing each song, just so people know they are real songs. Guess the number one song Pretty Lashes had? 'Baby Got  Back' by Sir Mixalot. Yes. I rapped it. At a baby shower. With people, including over 60's there.

For people who don't know, this is a TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE song for ANY occasion. This is the video. Please put in on loud and close your eyes, imagining a quiet room with Pretty Lashes rapping her little heart away...People were literally rolloing on the floor at the end...I have to admit, so was I.



xxPretty Lashesxx

I'm alive!

Hi Everyone,

Happy Easter!

Thanks to everyone who emailed me to see if I was OK

I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while; this thing they call Masters Degree is something else...to have to combine that with work and some very dubious clients, who feel my reason for existing is to reply their emails about marginal relief at 1am..yes people, 1 in the morning...

I've been lurking for a while, commenting on a few people's blogs...I just haven't had the time to blog myself.

My proposal is due next thursday. After then na you people go dey beg me make I stop blogging!


Sidenote: Am I the only one not excited about the royal wedding? I'm grateful for the bank holiday and everything but I just don't get the hype. Man sees woman, they fall in love, man asks woman to marry him, woman gets very excited, they marry and have lots of babies. It.Happens.Every.Day.

xxPretty Lashesxx

Mothers Day, Pity Party and other random randoms

So its mother's day here in the UK, I want to use this opportunity to wish every mother, grandmother and mother to be a fab day.

I'm the youngest kid and as my dad never ceases to tell me, a 'happy mistake'. My mom thought she was done with having kids, she was 33 when I was born, which is relatively young these days but bear in mind she was 19 when she had my oldest sister.

To this day, my mom has never told me no. I understand people may translate that into me being a spoiled brat but I'm a well behaved brat :-)...My dad wasn't really around when I was growing up and neither were my sisters (my mom had to travel alot for work, I was young enough to follow her around) so it was just both of us for long periods of time.

My mom and I are scarily similar, this is good and bad in equal measures as the things we dislike about ourselves are evident to see in the other person.This causes laughter and conflict in equal measures.

Its days like today I appreciate her so much, so many people don't have their moms with them any more, others don't have the kind of relationship I have with her and I'm aware I take her for granted sometimes because I know she loves me unconditionally. I love you mom, Happy Mothers Day.

Mr Lashes' birthday was alright, thank you all for all your kind words/suggestions. We did NOTHING I planned. I made the mistake of telling Mr Lashes about the hotel before I'd booked it and he said he'd rather I booked a hotel for two nights in the summer outside London. He then mumbled something about how I'm meant to be the accountant in the relationship. I tire.

We just ended up going to Selfridges to buy him a present and then out for dinner. I REALLY want to know if I'm the only girl in the world who has a partner that enjoys shopping more than I do.

Mr Lashes runs around like a headless chicken while I just sit with a book. Maybe its because I'm not a size 8 that I feel the nice clothes are wasted on me. Meh

I know these paragraphs are kind of haphazardly put together but please forgive me. I'm rambling because I feel funny.

Please join my pity party.

Do you ever have days where you just feel like nothing is going right? Everything that has been said to me today, I seem to take the wrong way....I just want today to finish so that I can start all over in the morning.

I wish my relationship with God was better.

I wish I had more willpower.

I wish I was a size 10 again, I hate being a size 14.

I wish Mr Lashes plays his bloody Playstation less

I wish I never bought Mr Lashes said Playstation.

I wish I could get married tomorrow.

I wish I could look as put together as all these other Naija girls in my age group. HOW do they manage to look so glam??

I wish I didn't have to study anymore.

I wish I added a pinch of salt to the pastry of the meatpies I made this afternoon.

I want a baby. NOW

I wish I could drive my mini that's parked outside Mr Lashes' front door, I can't wait to pass my driving test.

I wish Mr Lashes wouldn't shout careful CAREFUL, I SAID BE CAREFUL every time I practise my driving.

I wish I got paid the market rate for my qualifications, I'll be laughing all the way to my wedding.

I wish I could stop having days like these.

I'll stop now.


 Happy Sunday Lovely People.

xxPretty Lashesxx