So its been three months since things started going badly for my friend in her marriage. He keeps coming and going. He 'loves' her but he has got about 5 women on the go. His lies to them are gangsta. He obviously has not told any of them about his kids. He is currently unemployed yet somehow these women believe him when he says he owns his own business and that he is 28 (homeboy is 33 and sleeping on his friends bedroom floor).
He asked my friend last week to get back with him and told her that the should consider counselling because he is ready to change. It was during a break in their discussion she saw his facebook messages to the girls.(He wasn't even sleek enough to chat these girls up somewhere else, he was doing it ON his estranged wife's computer). It was only after shit hit the fan she told me that he asked her for a loan not long after he told her he was ready to make their relationship work. Thank God she didn't give him the money but the scary thing is that she told me she genuinely considered it.
This was the kicker for me. I asked her WHY she still even spoke to the man. What exactly is it about this man that she can't seem to let go of because to be honest, there is absolutely NOTHING going on for him on paper. She told me that is was very simple. She couldn't understand why he didn't want her, after everything she had done for him. How can he just stop loving her? She only had to make it clear to him that he was still in love with her.
At that moment, I took a step back because homegirl sounded kind of bunny boilerish. You can't MAKE someone love you. The sad thing about life is that sometimes things just don't work out, you just have to dust yourself and keep moving on.
All hope isn't lost though, I think it has finally dawned on her that it is over. She has started taking a few evening classes to keep her busy, she is moving into a new place soon for a fresh start and she seems to have started picking up the pieces.
Last week she called me excitedly to inform me she met someone else. 'He seems like a really nice guy and is really funny' I told her to stop imagining their wedding and what their kids will look like. Its just too soon. Besides, she needs to focus on sorting her head out because to be honest, if you don't love yourself, no one will love you.
Picture Source (google images)