Wednesday, 26 January 2011


I come from  a very close-knit family. This is almost always a good thing. There are some times however that it has some negatives, one of which is that we don't let outsiders in.

By this I mean my sisters and I don't have a lot of friends. We are not antisocial by any means but we'll rather stay in and watch a movie/gist than go clubbing or go out.

About a couple of years ago, while studying for my ACCA qualification, I met this girl, also a Nigerian and our 'friendship' began. 
As weird as this may sound, it was a new experience to me (the last time I made new friends was in Secondary school, some 5 years before). I was finally one of those girls that always had someone to talk to in class, someone to study with, go shopping with and talk to about my love life....It all seemed blissful, or so I thought.

At first it as little things I noticed like she'll only call me when she needed me to do something for her. Of course I  ignored it at first because I FINALLY HAD A CLOSE FEMALE time went on, it became tellingly obvious the sort of person she was.. she never wanted to hear anything I had to say, as soon as I'll call, she'd start talking about her life, her boyfriend, her school work, her family and her work. When she finished, she'd be ready to end the conversation,  nothing I had to say held any interest whatsoever.

Her attitude to life was also disturbing..she was and still is in a 'serious' relationship..her poor boyfriend had no idea that she had about 4 men on the go, who were all there to provide for whatever her boyfriend couldn't...It was when she tried to rope me into her shady life that I realised she was a liability...little things like 'let me use your phone to call this guy'( All random men that would later call my phone asking to speak to her) to 'I know someone I can hook you up with'...She was also incredibly envious...she'd see something I have and she 'had to have it'. I could never tell her about anything good going on in my life because I knew the reaction I'd get from her

She was also very fond of sly comments 'You're too fat', 'Your makeup looks terrible', 'Your outfit looks tacky' were statements I heard from her on an almost daily basis.

Needless to say I cut her out of my life a while ago., not in a bad way, I slowly stopped returning every call, which wasn't too hard to do seeing as she only called when she needed a favour...

Being the sort of person she is, she reacted by telling our mutual friends lies about me and spreading rumours about me. All she did was confirm I don't need her in my life

I realised that some people are much more trouble than they're worth. Not everyone wants the best for you. When something or someone brings you down,  pick yourself up, dust yourself down and KEEP KEEPING ON!

Do you know why a car's wind shield is so large & the rear view mirror is so small? Because our PAST is not as important as our FUTURE. So, look ahead and move on.

xxPretty Lashesxx


  1. Really liked this.
    I rarely make friends - because I am a very giving person and I feel 'used' when a friendship is one-sided.
    Do we really need many friends?
    I dont think so.
    If one is lucky enough to have ONE person you can open up to - that's fine.
    Ideally, this should be your partner (so that you both share problems, dreams) etc

  2. Thanks Naijamum,

    I finally realised this late last year, I thought I needed to have a buzzing social life to feel complete, that's what all the people in my age group were doing so I'm the 'weird' one for not doing it..

    The funny thing is that my Fiance couldn't stand her, he saw right through her from day one, I just shrugged what he said off because I thought he was just being funny because he finds it so easy to make friends and could therefore afford to be picky...

    He, apart from my sisters, is my best friend now ;;)

  3. Oh! i know what you mean! I had been down that road several times & I have only 4 friends in my life apart from my blogsville buddies! I AM ANTI-SOCIAL!...i like the adage /saying in the last paragraph.

  4. Nice new blog! I liked reading this post and I'm glad you're over her. Some friendships are just not meant to be.

  5. Thanks Ibhade, I stole the saying from my mom :-). You're absolutely right though, it's quality not quantity of friends that matter!

    @ Myne, thanks so much for taking time out to read my little blog, I'm still abit nervous (I still think who would be interested in what I have to say??) I've found that I've thoroughly enjoyed these last few days I've been blogging. Please don't be a stranger! :-)


  6. you know what they say - with ffriends like that, who needs enemies!!
    some friends just prove the saying true again and again, thank God for the sensibilities to cut them off.

  7. Good thing you got rid of her. She was a user and abuser of the friendship you almost had. I loved the last line where you said our past is less important than the future.

  8. I loved that last windshield analogy...never heard that before but its very insightful. This post is too true its making me sob a little...its hard letting people go but when you know deep down that they do nothing but harm to your self-esteem, its only for your own good to shed them

    Frenemies ey?

  9. Good call on weeding her out of ur policy on life is "you don't have to like me, but never pretend you do" I will rather know someone is my enemy, than have them pretend to be my friend.

  10. OMG....Friends sha...dont knw y some people must have what their friends have. in my case she wanted my boyfriend

  11. wow....please my dear, you're better off without this frenemy who isnt adding anything positive to your life! take care and just live your life stress free.

  12. its a good thing u cut her off. we ladies have 2 deal with frenemies at some point. it makes us wiser. ist time here.xx

  13. Yeah, good decision. Rather not have any friends than have one like her 3-|



I love to hear from you, Please drop me a line.xx